Monday, July 09, 2007
i still didnt make it..for the post tt i wanted since sec1
actually i think all of u dunu..wad i wanted since sec 1..was not only to be the section leader.wad i wanted was to pass on wad i noe to the others.but..i told myself its ok...since i tried 2 times and it failed.which may b a sign tt i'm not gng the conducting way in future??i'm feeling very terrible la.especially now la.i'm trying to let myself feel beta...now......i wish tt i could cry out at tis very moment. but i cant.i don wanna cry in front of people in the room..so i tink i jus keep quiet bah..don sae anything, don hav espressions.nth..controlling tears..controlling..help..i need help...seriously need help..i'm not saying tt i die die muz b the acm la..i'm not saying anything bad abt e decision or wad.is jus that i was given hope b4 tt and this hope jus ran away jus lyk tt..cuz i jus cant commit.i jus cant.i tell u, life is gng 2 b difficult if i'm become the section leader again.again..and again..especially in a growing band its so difficult.well..in the end, i still hav 2 sae tis..Song ren, congrates2 u..and all e best, k?we both hav some things tt each other don hav so decision was hard, i understand..i will not blame any1.but pls promise tt u will bring up the band for me, for every1 k? they're depending on u.jiayou bah..i'm gng 2 continue my plans, b in sws, attend all concerts.perform well.do sth 2 improve my playing . and decide my path later on.c where shld i go, which country, which profession, which university, what career...do your best...i'm ok..self consolation really do works la..sayonara!jia you!cheers!shirley
9:16 PM
